June has been very busy so far (it actually feels more like two months squeezed into one) and things have gone fast: two house movings in less than 2 weeks and all that goes with it; two intense, inspiring Pilates training courses and obviously, teaching hours to build up and take care of.
Definitely, my comfort zone is something I haven’t seen in a while and for how good and constructive this is, it also leaves you unsettled and with the feeling of having a whole lot to take in in terms of knowledge, experience, self confidence (a lot!!!), inspiration + some big overall life questions that at the moment will have to wait as my brain simply can not deal with them now!
I am very grateful for all these unsettling occasions I put myself into, but saying that it’s always easy to handle would be a lie, specially when this happens on top of everything else. You stretch and push yourself really hard with no or very little external acknowledgment, relying only on your own strength and on your inner trust that everything will eventually pay back over time.
But this is part of living the dream, of the real life behind the successful stories we read about, I suppose.
Well, not that I would expect a round of applause for every step I take, anyway: I am my worst, most cynical censurer, whose usual comment about pretty much every moment of weakness and doubt is: “you have made your bed, now you sleep in it and better shut up”. This prevents a lot of drama and self pity, but it can also be quite of a tough voice to hear all the time. So, if you relate to this, my best advice is to allow yourself some well deserved time to just let it out: cry, be miserable if you need, feel like the weakest heroine of the most epic saga you can think of, eat ice cream or simply dance, read, colour a book, go for a walk…or all of the above. Recognizing that you are going through a lot (without making a big fuss about it) it’s fair and it doesn’t need to come from the outside. If it does, good, but you need to acknowledge and respect it yourself first.
[note to self].
When you are sailing through your living the dream, dealing with “the outside” and the people in it can be even more challenging as people can eventually let you down, sometimes despite the best intentions. This can strongly affect the mood of your journey as you are out there on your own, trying to make things happen and you may have counted on them, for work, for support, for a phone call… The echo is bigger and resounds deeper.
BUT this will NOT impact the journey itself, as things will always end up down the route that they are meant to. People we meet, people we lost, experiences and transitions, can bring you down and give some ache deep down your tummy. Letting go and moving on is harder than it normally is (and I am usually not that good at it anyway…). But eventually that too passes, pieces fall back in place and the journey keeps going on.